February 2012
12 posts
Think Good Thoughts
I had a bad day yesterday at work, so bad that I locked myself in a state of I-don’t-want-to-talk-to-anyone last night. I wouldn’t go in details anymore, because that was then anyway; and today’s a new day (it’s about to end also!) and there’s just no room for a yesterday’s-workday hangover.
Instead, I thought that I need a list of goals and a make-over to help...
A Different Sunday
The sudden conscious realization that you are responsible for your own life feels so raw, so liberating, so awakening. It was a conversation with Papa that struck the thought, a few nights ago; I was telling him of my plans for the future. It was our plan that I go back to the university this upcoming fall, but after a lot of research and thinking, I told him that I think it would be better if I...
One day, Someday.
Comfort Zone by misscoffeejelly featuring a tube top
I’m feeling kind of uneasy. A little bit unpretty. A little bit unhappy. A little bit misplaced. I’m praying for that day when I’ll be back on track, be able to really smile… I know that day will come, one day, someday.
Internal Monologues
You Can. by misscoffeejelly featuring a blue shawl
If there’s a habit that I need to break, it would have to be my caffeine-dependency; the daily dose of either Starbucks or CBTL and sometimes both in a day. The calories and the expenses sure are piling up; but I try to reason things out by saying that I need caffeine to help me focus before work; and that wi-fi is currently inaccessible...
2 tags
Homesick
I’m honestly unhappy and feeling kind of misplaced. I’m pretty sure that this isn’t one of my pre-hormonal dramatic episodes where I’m just lonely as hell. I miss my life back in Manila— the places I would often go to, and most especially… my friends.
I miss those fun afternoons filled with spur-of-the-moment decisions: suddenly riding the train to...
A Drop of Sunshine, Please.
Recreating Saturday by misscoffeejelly featuring platform boots
The moment I saw my schedule from this weekend till next, my mind automatically generated plans for my me-time date— window shopping and coffee at LA or at Burbank? I cannot remember the last time I had a full weekend without work, and after a work week filled with series of unfortunate events; I knew that having this...
January 2012
31 posts
Off to the edge.
Here I am, at Starbucks— waiting for my shift, trying to be calm. I feel like I’m about to have my college thesis defense every time I go to work. Which is not really good, because my stomach feels twisted and my hands would go cold.
I think that I’m beginning to be tremendously obsessed with being perfect when it comes to my job. It must have been because of my belief that...
“Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can...”
– ~Donn King
Note to Self
a.k.a How to turn my mornings to hello world!
~Listening to my John Mayer playlist on Pandora, while sipping a warm cup of sweet tea! Just had my long and warm shower, and the scent of Vanilla Bean Noel lingers! I love this calm night! :D
Tomorrow’s going to be the start of my work life again, after taking a week long of rest… and I’m just feeling quite in between of wanting to...
All is well.
Today started out really early for us since Papa had to bring us to the hospital for my doctor’s note before he goes to work. My stomach was turning and I could feel the stress coming up; because I was just really scared if today’s going to be successful.
Egg muffin and hot peppermint mocha for breakfast.
I wore my new sweater from H&M for good luck; since I was...
Fighting.
To be honest, there wasn’t a night for the past week when I did not toss and turn on my bed, thinking of this and that, of making ends meet, of just making things better. Then things got worse with the internet issues with this apartment…
Oh goodness, the stupid internet issues with the landlord. Inhumane would be the word to describe how selfish he is— that’s just it....
Reality.
I cannot think of one word to describe how I feel right now. Every day has been a constant struggle to be… alright. To look pulled-together. To be strong.
What does it really mean to be mature? Is it finally accepting all in that you have to redefine your needs from your wants; reassess that your needs are not always the same with your obligations— so you need to sacrifice the wish...
FML
“You got a sty on your eye!” said Sarah, as she checked my bag.
“Yup. I got it.” I stifled a laugh, and wore my shades again.
My eye got an infection from this really high-end brand and my absolute carelessness when it comes to taking make-up off. I got sent home from work, although it was a relief— it was also somehow horrible because I’m still a...
10 tags
11 tags
At Work.
*BF-GF came to the register to pay.*
Me: ”Hi! Did you find everything okay?”
BF: ”Yes we did, you did, yes, honey?” *turns to GF*
GF: ”Yes hun, thank you.”
*BF-GF began baby-talking to each other, hugging and all that shit.*
*Le me trying my best not to look, ring her clothes up and take the sensors out…*
Me: *finally had to look up* Your total is a...
Lifeless.
Today shall be spent in a coffee + internet euphoria because after a hundred centuries, the stars finally gave in to my plea. Off from work. Nothing feels lovelier. Nada.
I have been juggling two jobs for the past week, apparently living in a “sleep is for the weak” mantra. I took the toll the other day, when the other (old) job made me work four hours more than I should; and when I...
Too tired to think of a title.
Did I make the right decision?
If ever I succeed through the transition/phase that’s happening in my dear life at the moment, it shall go down the books. But right now, I’m filing this week and the next to my “confusion” folder, close my eyes and hope for the best.
I’m terribly sad. Is that redundant? I don’t even want to correct my grammar anymore, so my...
10 tags
Confessions Over Tea
I always have to remind myself that “this” is my life now. That this is the place I should be calling home. That I’ll probably be here till I’m 90; and I’m not in some sort of vacation that’s why it is important for me to get back to my senses… I owe myself that decision to be mentally present; because if I continue to stay 7000 miles away internally, I...
My 2012 Bucket List
Inspired by my good friend Caramel’s.
Tol your bucket list’s fun and exciting! Go and make each come true! Thanks for this idea, I have to agree that in order to have things really done— they have to be feasible, fascinating and fun; the purpose of bucket lists, exactly.
My 2012 Bucket List
Independence
Learn how to drive.
Suck it in and suck it up, self! Haha!...
A Fabulous 2012 Ya'll!
The saying, “Time flies fast” is an understatement! It feels surreal that we only have two more hours and it will be 2012 already! In this part of the world, that is. XD
2011 for me was emotionally eventful. Honestly, I feel like so far, 2011 has been the most eventful phase in my 22 years of existence.
2011 was definitely a year of losing and gaining; falling and standing;...
December 2011
36 posts
So this afternoon, I took the bus home.
A Filipina lady, who looked like she could be on her late 60’s sat beside me.
I was brooding about what I will order from Subway while staring out the window when I heard the lady’s phone ring. She picked it up and began talking about work then suddenly she said…
“… nasabi ko na sayo yung boyfriend kong taga Santa Monica diba? Hinatid niya ko kanina...
3 tags
Last night's heart break...
… turned into this morning’s strength; and also resulted to my official list of next year’s resolution.
To start the honest explanation of how this irony came about; I just have to let it out there that I’m not a toughie, and yes I’m only trying to act like one— but I’d like to believe that it’s better to fake it until I wing it than dwell on it and...
You.
You came into that part of my life when and where I thought I needed someone the most; someone to take all the pain away; to save me from them and to save me from myself.
Looking back, you turned everything around for me without you knowing it. I saw you as my great escape, the light at the end of the day, the only enchanting difference to my then sleep-deprived nights. Being with you felt so...
