The saying, “Time flies fast” is an understatement! It feels surreal that we only have two more hours and it will be 2012 already! In this part of the world, that is. XD

2011 for me was emotionally eventful. Honestly, I feel like so far, 2011 has been the most eventful phase in my 22 years of existence.

2011 was definitely a year of losing and gaining; falling and standing; making big mistakes and learning; of faith and love;  of happiness and emptiness; of brokenness and being whole; friendship and family; of challenges, change (especially change) and a big turn-around when it comes to self-discovery.

I also experienced a lot of firsts; a lot of newness— some of which are my favorites: falling in love with make-up, doing good at school, flying in and out of the country alone, the discovery of how lovely being alone could also be.

I met a number of people who changed me entirely; some who’ve brought me spiraling down dark moments for me to learn that I can light up my life on my own; because happiness should not be always dependent on other people.

Some who’ve given me so much love then broke me apart, for me to learn how to give importance to my sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Some who’ve given me, still, so much love; and so our relationships continually deepen through time, and I am constantly thanking the Lord for blessing me with angels— my family and friends.

I fell in and out of emotions, half of the year was the darkest I’ve been to and the other half— outshines the first, that I’m just grateful that things happened.

I just think that a year-ender entry wouldn’t be complete without personalized small messages, whether they’ll ever read this or not. XD

So let me be shall be raw and real, honest and straight-forward; because I can’t let the year end without sending them these heart-notes.

• To my Parents - To be honest, I think I don’t deserve my parents. Haha! They’re too good for me! Hahaha. XD Where can I ever start— I just love them so dearly. I’ve done so much shit here and there, thinking that “I’m an adult, heck yeaaah” but at the end of the day, they are still the ones I would run to. I’ve been bruised and broken, mad and angered; I’ve gone crazy by dyeing my hair ridiculous bright colors every time and having five piercings on my ears; I’ve tried running away, rebelling from their love. 

But when the glimmers of temporary highs died down, leaving me hardly breathing through dust— they held me, healed me, and still worked so hard just so they could give me the best they ever could; the best, more than I deserve. It’s overwhelming but heart warming, I’m just so grateful. Thank you, Mama and Papa. Thank you. I can’t wait for the day when I’ll be the one lavishing you with comfort.

• To my brothers - It was only this year (2011) that I learned how much you two are protective of me! Haha! I apologize for all the really late-night-outs I’ve done! But I really appreciate the endless calls and messages of when am I going home. :)) You two are the best!

• To Deichan - My soul sister, the person who knows me like I’m the lines on her hand. Thank you for everything. You’ve been with me through hell and back, accepted me for all the flaws and all the fuck I’ve done. I’m sorry for the many days I sent you boiling in anger (and worry) because of the crappy decisions I’ve made; but still— I’m thankful that you’re always here with me, to knock me out of senselessness, to pull me back to sanity. I miss you everyday— our late night chikahans, our milk-tea + make-up dates, our photo shoots! Congratulations on giving life to beautiful baby Keeshia, I’ve always believed that you’ll be an awesome mom! Don’t ever forget that I’m still always always always here for you. Always, and that is one promise you’ll be sure won’t be broken. I love you!

• To Chezka - God knows how much I miss you! I’m just really thankful that God blessed me with someone like you— you’re a wonderful person, and I know that everyone can attest to that. I’ve put to heart every advice you’ve given me; there’s just so much of you that made me grow. :) Thank you and I love you!

• To Heaven - My fab princess sister, thank you for being an inspiration. You don’t know how much I look up to you. Thank you for sharing your positive light to my darkest days; for supporting me through my craziness, but still making sure I’ll be safe from harm. I know in my heart that you’ll reach your dreams, and I’ll always be praying for your happiness— because you deserve life’s every glam star to be on your skies. Stay sexy and fabulous! I love you!

• To Carmelle - My sunny bubbly sister — you’ll always and forever be a rock star! :D You’ve seen me at my highest and at my lowest points in life, and words nor cupcakes can ever be enough to show how much I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me. You’re a fabulous person, fabulous fabulous— in and out; and you deserve so much more than you credit yourself for, so don’t ever lose hope, don’t ever stop believing— because I believe in you and in what you can and will do. I believe in your strength and in your ability to let the sun shine through the stormiest days. I love you!

• To Nikka - Girlie, I’m just super blessed to have you as my new found sister! I never thought we’ll get along this well; I miss our Taco Bell dates and wasting time away talking about love! Haha. I miss you and I love you, stay smart and pretty!

• To Rachelle, Sabel, MJ, Jaimie, Kaye and Lyanne - I super love you guys! Thank you for the friendship, the fun and the support— I still wish we’ve had a lot of time together! I’m grateful that I met all of you— lovely and awesome dolls! I miss you all and I love you!!

• To Karen, Khaila, Mikmik and Amor - I never really thought that we’ll become good friends, but I’m grateful— very very grateful. I miss you; Thank you for the friendship and the fun; stay gorgeous! *u*

• To you - thank you for… being wonderful and cute heh.  For the affection… the laughter… the time… for the lessons you’ve taught me… I wish you happiness. I always have, and I always will.

I’ve always believed that there’s a positive side to everything, and everything happens for a reason— be grateful, life is a blessing, a journey to embark on with a smile and an optimistic mind. Here’s to a fabulous 2012 ahead!