I cannot think of one word to describe how I feel right now. Every day has been a constant struggle to be… alright. To look pulled-together. To be strong.

What does it really mean to be mature? Is it finally accepting all in that you have to redefine your needs from your wants; reassess that your needs are not always the same with your obligations— so you need to sacrifice the wish list and alter the goal list; because obligations come first before anything else. And almost always, before yourself.

What does it really mean to be strong? Maybe it’s the way I was brought up, but I realized, in comparison to how people here my age are, I need a lot of “growing up” to do. There’s just no room for flimsiness, because if you won’t ever learn how to speak up for yourself, toughen up, know what you want and know how to get it; the world will eat you alive.

The amount of responsibility indirectly heaved upon me is just tremendously frightening— I don’t know where to start.

I just don’t really know where to start.